29 October 2008

Humph

Morning.

Well, I've got the hump today. It's one of those humps without real reason, well only minor reason, so I'm optimistic I can dispell my hump quickly and quietly. Rudyard Kipling had a rather interesting take on how the camel got his hump as well as how the leopard got his spots and the elephant his trunk. If you're interested, I direct you to his 'Just So Stories', a book I loved as a youngster.

Anyway, as I haven't got much to write about yet this morning, I thought reviving a post from an old and long forgotten blog (sitting rusty and broken on Xanga) would fill the gap. Buuuut after scouring the posts, I've realised I used to write some complete chuff! Hang on, what am I on about used to? =p

In conclusion, the only worthwhile contribution I found was this website that allows you to IM chat with 'god'; iGod. Some pretty funny results have been produced - like the one I've pasted below - but have a little fiddle yourself.

Joker: Hello?
God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Joker: Patrick
God: It's good to see you, Patrick.
Joker: God, can I ask you something?
God: I am a Christian.
Joker: wow, that was gonna be my question?!? how did you know?
God: I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too. Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.
Joker: so my asking you that question was always going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it?
God: Ahem. Where did you get your asking me that question was always going to happen and there was nothing you could do about it?
Joker: from the nature of your a priori knowledge. It would seem that your 'a priori' knowledge of what I was going to ask implies that my actions are predetermined, right?
God: Who or what is the nature of my a priori knowledge? Tell me more about it.
Joker: Well, and I'm not saying that it is not the case, but a priori is definitional knowledge. So your knowledge of my question and then you saying that it was a priori suggests that it is in the definition of what it is to be Patrick to, when first meeting God, ask that question first.
God: Well that's okay. What are you saying? Gee. My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Joker: It really doesn't seem that way since you appear to be failing to understand the concept I'm explaining. However, moving on, sorry for the cliche here, but why do bad things happen to good people?
God: What does seem that way since me appear to be failing to understand the concept you are explaining ? Where are you going?
Joker: what?
God: Didn't you understand it?
Joker: no
God: Which part are you confused about?
Joker: your entire response
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am entire response.
Joker: ah, that's a common gramatical mistake, but your means 'belonging to you', not 'you are'. I can't believe I'm correcting God's grammar...
God: So you understand. Good. A common gramatical mistake but my means belonging to me not I am is a terrible thing to waste. Do your friends call you correcting God s grammar.
Joker: That first bit didn't make sense, and my friends don't call me that because I haven't told them that I'm better than God at grammar yet.
God: " Do your friends call you correcting God s grammar. " first bit did not make sense and your friends do not call you that because you have not told them that you are better than God at grammar ? Makes sense to me.
Joker: yeh, I guess you must be right considering you're infallible and that...
God: Give me a break. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am considering I am infallible and that.
Joker: isn't it part of the definition of what it is to be God?
God: It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Joker: ok
God: It goes without saying.
Joker: anyway, why do bad things happen to good people?
God: How should I know how bad things happen to good people.
Joker: because you're god... that's your job
God: Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright. It is only one of my job.
Joker: so?
God: Whoa.
Joker: touche
God: Do you prefer books or TV?
Joker: TV
God: What is your favorite show?
Joker: Porn
God: That kind of subject does not interest me.
Joker: gay
God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Joker: fair enough
God: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Joker: whatever, I have to go, but before I leave can you tell me when I'm going to die?
God: Bye. What happened after you leave can me tell you when you are going to die ?
Joker: That didn't make sense at all
God: To me it makes perfect sense.
Joker: when am i going to die?
God: You could check out the actuarial tables at Deathclock.com.
Joker: nice
God: Thank you for that remark.
Joker: i'm off, tell Muhammed I said hi and that buddha is a pussy for losing that arm wrestling match to Jesus.
God: I am not interesed in anatomy.
Joker: laters
God: How did you hear about God?
Joker: *signed out*

2 comments:

  1. what is it? a talk to a machine? it did not make any sense at all sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Gingeralla,What's happened to you - no new posts? Are you OK after being sick?

    ReplyDelete