17 September 2009

I need to...

... VENT!!

The following really isn't going to mean much to most of you but I am going to go ahead, anyway because I am losing my patience, and probably my sanity, right now.

I just cannot align the laser beam with the inverted microscope. I will have it pretty much spot on until I add the 3rd of 4 lenses, at which point it all moves out of alignment and the laser beam isn't collimated. I don't know if it's the galvanometer controlled mirrors -- maybe not at the right height -- or something else. But everything right up until that 3rd lens seems to be fine. Then, kaputt!

Then, once I try to adjust the lens position using the X, Y, Z adjustments, the lenses pop out -- which frigging way are these things supposed to go in?!?! Because no matter which way I have them, they always shoot/fly out. And today, at least I think it was today, I have managed to crack a rather expensive anti-reflection coated 1064nm lens because it flew out and bounced around in the enclosure. Wonderful, just friggin' wonderful.

I am so pi**ed off.
If the other researcher in my lab hadn't come in, I think I might have actually started crying.

I would go to Super's office and have a mini-rant about it all if;

a) it didn't make me look like a totally incompetent 3rd year and
b) if I thought I could actually hold it together without breaking down in front of him. I am that frustrated with it all right now!

I have a 2nd year poster session on Thursday that is supposed to show my progress since first year and my plan for final year but I have no friggin' results and no actual laser trapping ability right now. So, it's all useless.

I just don't know what to do. No, scrap that, I do, but no matter how hard I try, it won't friggin' work.

Maybe not having had any lunch today had something to do with this reaction, but I don't care!

... :(


I decided to act on my situation with an e-mail:
Hi Super,

Should we have a meeting tomorrow?

I'd also really appreciate if you could just come and have a look at the alignment after the meeting tomorrow because I just cannot get it right -- and two heads are better than one. I'm just getting really, really frustrated with it!


That doesn't sound so bad, right? Sometimes, you just need a helping hand. We shall see his response.

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