05 April 2010

Been a while, crocodile.

It certainly has been a while. I apologise for such a long hiatus period. Things got very busy there for a while. I shouldn't really use past tense because actually, they still are. But as always, I've been missing this place, even broadcasting into silence seems to be calling me. I have been reading all my fave blogs through my Google reader, though and even finding time to comment on a few.

It's 1.30am on Easter Monday morning. I really should be asleep especially as it's looking scarily similar to last night (I didn't sleep until 4.30am! Doing what, I have almost no idea) and have set my alarm for 8am to get plenty of work done in time for work uni starting again on Tuesday.

My Easter Sunday has been pretty unremarkable, didn't make it to uni as I'd planned, or even (unplanned) Church. Opted for thesis/publication writing at home instead. Happy Easter by the way. Get many eggs? Sadly, I didn't. And why not? Well, apart from being a little too old and no-one here to give me any, I have a one word answer. Lactose. But after tall tales of Ferraro Rocher 'eggs', I shall be in search of one tomorrow! I think I have decided they are my favourite chocolates of all time.

Want to get in my good books? Buy me some of those bad boys!

Lately, I seem to daydream about my future a lot. I'm no longer a spring chicken. I don't actually believe that, I'm only 25 and actually look like quite a young spring chicken even, but have always wanted to say that. But I am still wondering how my life is going to pan out. OK, confession, I have probably fantasised and obsessed about my wedding day for yeeears but it's getting worse. And babies, too! I think the babies are just down to me recently becoming an auntie and only seeing the cute side (although, I have been thrown up on a couple of times already!) Subscribing to several wedding blogs doesn't help either; I've begun to consider colour schemes, am in love with and want my wedding to be filmed with Super 8mm film and even have an idea on wedding songs... just so you know, I am nowhere near getting married! I think it's just the fantasy and the idea of panning something so spectacular. (I promise, R! No, don't leave...) Or maybe just escapism from my current existence.

I'm thinking that you're never too young to be groomed on a social networking website...

I am currently facebook messaging with someone who seems to think they have met me before. They conveniently can't remember where or when apart from a generic 'studenty bar' when they came to visit a friend in Manchester. Already seems odd, you say? Yes, it does but for some reason, I didn't twig. I suppose I can get chatting to some strange-os when I get drunk so let's give this stranger the benefit of the doubt.

So, the conversation starts off light about Manchester and studying and I'm thinking, this can't last and I'll be able to go to bed soon. *yawn* But it slowly progresses and I find myself answering questions such as 'what do you think makes a good relationship?' and 'would you ever go to a naturist beach' interspersed with seemingly normal questions and nuggets of information.

So, why am I still conversing with this individual and continuing with this sherade at this hour when I have already clearly decided their reason for meassging me are a guise for something else? No idea, but it continues. The topic of threesomes come up (OK, you have to know I'm giving you a fast-slim version of events here and the topic came up because of a funny proposition I decided to share. I did not have a threesome, not that there's anything wrong with threesomes.... oh gawd! I'm gonna leave that alone and continue) and they begin to ask me what I think of threesomes.

Woooahhh! Slow down there. Alarm bells finally start to make a distant jingle ring and I start to clam up and reduce the size of my answers. (Whaaaat? You're still answering and talking to this fruitcake?!)

But wait, there is a key piece of informarion I am yet to divulge to you. And I just can't keep it in any longer. The incessant messages are coming from, wait for it... a girl. Yup, a girl! Well, that's if I am to believe anything 'she' has said so far or anything implied by her profile. I'm going to call it and say she is trying to recruit R and I for a threesome (or more-somes!) Why? Well, dead giveaways might be questions like what do you think of threesomes and if there were any circumstances under which I would let my boyfriend sleep with another girl. No. Oh, wait, under one circumstance, maybe; over my dead body!

This is happening in real time kids. I am chatting to this vag-freak right now. And finally, I have womanned up and called her out. After her asking whether I could watch my platonic male friends take showers, I had to draw the line and settled for telling her that her questions are weird and I don't know why she's asking them! (Plus adding that no, I do not want to watch my male friends in the shower. Those attachments are damn fugly!)

Let's wait for a response to that...

Ooooh! Put your handbag away 'lady'! She has issued a goodbye statement due to me thinking she's 'weird'. Damn right I think you're weird, but now I'm bloody interested! Who, or actually what, the hell are you?

I reckon that's going to be the end of that conversation. and it certainly wasn't how I expected my evening to turn out at 2am on Easter Monday.

And on that note, I am going to take my leave and bid you farewell. Goodnight.


  1. I am laughing my ass off... omg... too funny. I'm glad your back girl!

  2. yay! good to hear from you again :)

  3. Glad to hear that you're back, but stay away from the fruit-loops!


  4. I was imagining a balding old man in a cardigan, when you said it was a girl it took me by surprise...

    It's a shame you didn't find out who she was and what she wanted but, on second thoughts, maybe it's better that way. Eww.

  5. Haha! Sorry... shouldn't laugh at your expense but that is quite funny.

    How did she find you? I hope your profile is set to private!


  6. Yay! You're back! I was wondering where the hell you disappeared off my google reader! Humpf.

    Anywhoo, great to have you back and 'tings!

    I know what you mean by work, but I usually end up writing themes/a blog on paper when I have litterally five minutes and copy it up in two or three and call it a 'blog post'

    And threesomes.... Hmmm... I... it would depend. And it would have to be with two girls. Not doing it with a guy. No thanks. No amount of 'man time' afterwards would make up for it. The only thing that would be epic is a high five in the middle of it all, but then the shame, the inevitable drinking myself into a coma would ensue.

    Maybe I've thought about this far too much, meh.

  7. LOL I admire your for still talking with this weird fruitcake haha ... sometimes people like that you can't help but talking to!

    And I totally know what you mean about daydreaming about the future and wondering what will happen ... that's been the story of my life recently, but I guess we gotta keep focused on the now ... and try to avoid weirdos :) Hope all the schoolwork goes a-okay!

  8. lol @ I'm thinking that you're never too young to be groomed on a social networking website.

    How do you know that the 'vag-freak' wasn't much younger than you and where infact it was you that was 'grooming' her?


  9. Just wanted to drop by and thank you for visiting and following my blog. I really, really appreciate it! I'm following you back, cheers!

  10. hahahahahahaha
    I love how wonderfully random and disturbing this is.