09 January 2011

Dear Me...

Taking into account my love for Clear Your Heart, when I read her Dear Me letter sometime ago, I wanted to write my own. There is a book, where celebrities do the same, and at dearmebooks.com you can read others' letters to themselves. You can join in via Twitter using the #tweetyour16yearoldself hashtag.

Dear 16 year old me,

it's 2001 and you're in the last year of high school, the summation of some of the best and worst times of your life. You make the right choice to leave school and go to a college in another town, nearly 10 miles away. 6am starts will be the norm for 2 years and you'll have to work hard but you'll love it, and it will pay off. And don't worry about the A levels your dad is helping you 'choose', you will in fact love physics and it will be your life for the next 10 years.

That guy you're with now, he's not the one. He's not even good for you. He holds you back and tries to make you hate your family. You have a wonderful heart and beautiful body, please don't let his actions convince you otherwise; there is nothing wrong with you. And you do not struggle to make friends; that isn't the real reason he is segregating you from his friends. Eventually, he will shatter your heart into a million pieces, show no remorse, and still think you can be friends. I wish you would listen to your family about him but I know you won't even believe me. You will spend many years regretting how terribly you acted towards them but you'll get past it; at 25 (and now an auntie!), family is more important than life itself. It takes you some time but you do get over him and those 3 and a half years make you a strong little lady, but he destroys your trust in others and your faith in just how beautiful you are. Please try not to let this happen. You are so beautiful, inside and out.

Let go of the bullying and dismiss the memories of your school shirt down the toilet, repeatedly being shouted out of the girls changing room, the name-calling on the school coach, all the tears, and the rest. Life will get better. Listen to your mom when she tells you that girl did it simply because she was jealous of you. When you meet years later she won't have changed and you come to pity her. People do want to be friends with you, in fact, you make a great friend. Please believe me. You need to stop testing every friendship to the nth degree, and expecting it to fail. You lose a few friendships this way; being so reluctant to open up in fear of being let down, or them realising they don't like you. They will, and do, love you!

You flirt with different hair colours; blonde, brown, red, but you always go back. You get many compliments from people -- strangers included -- about how beautiful your hair is. And your mom really is right; people pay a shedload of money to have your hair colour. The name-calling will become insignificant and you will embrace being a redhead.

You take a huge leap towards independence in 2003 when you move to Manchester to study physics at university; you stay there for 8 years, learn to cook, and cook well, meet so many amazing people, drink/eat a little too much, teach physics, join the choir and become a halls tutor. You have an amazing time and you undergo quite a metamorphosis.

You will meet the love of your life there, but you don't realise or admit it for another 4 years. Ignore his reluctance in the beginning -- he's only human -- and power through; it'll be so worth it! You're still just as feisty so try to cut him some slack, after all, his imperfections are all part of who you fall in love with and he accepts all yours, so it's only fair. Try not to make the same mistake again; hold onto your friends, you'll regret it if you don't. Stop being so argumentative and learn to relax. He becomes your best friend and the best person you know, he knows you better than you'd like to admit and you love him more than words can say.

Edit: As of June 2011, not so much, as it turns out. But life is a work in progress and you're already well on your way to getting past it.
21st October 2011

Think long and hard about whether you really want to do a PhD. Don't listen to anyone else and ignore wanting to please others. I wish I could tell you that you make it through, but I'm still struggling with that myself. I hope and pray that you do. Please know that quitting is OK, and when that crosses your mind, oh and it will, consider it seriously; carpe diem. If you soldier on, work harder, much harder, and sooner! I know how much you hate to admit you need it, but if you need help, ask.

Take care of yourself little lady.

Love,

The future you x

All images from weheartit.com

2 comments:

  1. Awww, that's so cute. I'm sure your 16-year-old self would have greatly appreciated that letter... especially knowing that things will get better and you'll wind up as a smart, funny and gorgeous 25-year-old self!

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  2. i have tears in my eyes reading this, as i knew that 16 year old you were and the 25 year old you have become and i love you now so much, but i loved you then just as much, even if at the time you could see it! xoxox

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